Ino Vs Sakura
by The Jar Head
Summary: What happens when Ino gets an idea that involves non stop ritual humiliation for a certain pink haired kunoichi? Payback, and lots of it! Prepare for 100mph comic mayhem, and remember: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


**(A/N: Just a quick author note before you people get onto reading this fic, I came up with this idea randomly while talking to one of my friends Kellie, known as the waffle on on msn. It sounded pretty good to her and I like it too, so I began typing it onto word. This'll probably stay as a one-shot for a while until I can find more inspiration to carry on this fic! Anywho as always!)**

**(A/N: I do not own Naruto or anything else you read in this fic that is in fact owned by someone else.)**

**Ino Vs. Sakura**

It was a very precarious situation. Hell, how this happened no one would ever know, but damn was it funny. In the centre of Konoha's largest market square, on the busiest day of the week, where thousands of spectators pounding the floor in side splitting laughter, stood a 17 year old pink haired kunoichi medical ninja of great expectations, in both meanings of the phrase. She stood butt naked, with her arms held above her head tied to the giant log behind her, the same was done to her bare ankles, and only her leaf ninja headband with was conveniently tied around her eyes making it into a very suitable blindfold. With the words printed onto her pale pink chest bold capital lettering

**I AM DIRTY SLAG, TAKE ME NOW!**

In deep concession where the like, the entire population of Konoha was keeling over one by one stood among them a few very distinguished ninja, Naruto Uzumaki in his classic orange tracksuit, in which he did tend to wear less and less these days. Sasuke Uchiha, in his oversized piece of black spandex rubber. Kiba Inuzuka, taking his labrador/beagle Akamaru for a walk who decided to stop by the market to pick up some dog biscuits. And Shikamaru Nara, who indeed looked like he was about to fall asleep. Hell, Shikamaru could sleep through a nuclear holocaust if he wanted to.

"Haha, hey Sasuke now's the time to, If you wanna" Naruto bellowed to his best friend, nudging him forward, closer to their unconscious naked teammate.

"Hn, I'm not going to take advantage of Sakura, especially while she's asleep I'm not like yo-

"So you are gay then?" Kiba deadpanned nudging the Uchiha as well

"Look Sasuke just go over there and kiss her at least or do you want me to start calling you Sas-gay again?" Naruto yelled over the roaring laughter of the crowd, and Sasuke immediately vanished and appeared in front of the naked kunoichi. He bore a complete stone face but inside his mind was squealing for joy, he had finally found a way to get right up close to his secret crush while she was naked. Said crush however, feeling herself slip back into reality shivered at the strange feeling of cold air.

"_Did mom forget to pay the heating bill again?" _Sakura thought trying to move her arms to cover her freezing body realized she couldn't move them, and then she found the same situation with her feet, and why was there so much laughter. _"What's going on? Why can't I move, my eyes are open why can't I see? Why are there people laughing in my bedroom, unless I'm not in my bedroom! Oh, god what's happened?" _The kunoichi then began to panic in the only way she knew how. "SASUKE, SASUKE WHERE ARE YOU?" She screamed not knowing that said Uchiha was mere fractions of an inch away from her. Sasuke jumped back, having the pink haired female scare the shit out of him he clutched his chest and began breathing heavily.

"_Okay"_ He thought_ "Now that was just freaky"_ Now deciding that kissing a blind, naked girl who was panicking horribly, screaming his name in the middle of a high street was indeed not the most wise course of action, he then carefully said. "I'm right here Sakura, now just stay calm everything'll be alright" He said slowly so as not to panic his teammate even more.

"SASUKE! I'M SO GLAD YOU HERE!" She screamed again but this time, joy filled her insides instead of fear

"HAHAHA, YOU WONT BE IN A MINUET SAKURA!" Bellowed the perverted blonde chunin, who began making wolf whistles, along with a huge sum of other men, even some of the women.

"Huh? Naruto? Sasuke what does he mean, and why can't I see? And why can't I move? And what ab-

"SAKURA, just calm down. You have a blindfold on, and before I take it off, you need to promise me your not going to go nuclear on us and blow up Konoha, and kill everyone within a 25-mile radius, okay?" He asked wearily, and Sakura nodded as she bit her lip not really wanting to find out what was happening, all the laughter really got her un-nerved. "Okay, then. Here goes nothing" He deadpanned while breathing in heavily and proceeded to remove Sakura's headband from over her eyes.

The first thing she saw was her crushes illustrious face, that raven coloured cockatoo shaped hair, those blood red sharingan eyes. Then as she sighed in happiness and looked down at her own body the expressions of jovial circumstances on her face soon smashed into thousands of pieces and replaced with looks of up most horror and imfabnible shock. She was completely naked! How? How did this happen? Her mouth was moving around at 100mph but no coherent words seemed to escape from it. She could see some black letters slapped onto her breasts, Sakura wasn't too good at reading upside down but she could make out it had something to do with slag, and that she wanted sex. With her emerald orbs shooting around her eye sockets looking for answers, she soon realised what the laughter was about. Sasuke regrettably sidestepped, allowing Sakura to gaze upon in anxiety at the sea of bodies pounding the floor in laughter.

Sasuke now seeing that he needed to help took out a kunai and slashed his rubber band outfit just below his belly button and took the top half off, he then proceed to cut the thick rope tying his crush to the large wooden pole by her hands and feet. Then with the kunoichi released from the podium thing, Sasuke placed his 'do it yourself' t-shirt over Sakura and thanked the lord that it covered her butt, only just though, but at least she had something to wear. With the sea of bodies still having heart attacks in the garden, memories of last night started to flood Sakura's brain. She then screamed in unbridled anger, which made Sasuke run off the stage thinking she was about to start her mass homicide.

Ino.

"I SWEAR, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO! I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS INO! I'LL GET YOU BACK!" Both Sakura and inner Sakura bellowed at the top of their lungs.

* * *

And in a small flower shop not too far away from the market square, behind the counter stood a blonde haired kunoichi of 17 years of age who was hanging up a large chart on her wall that had written on it:

* * *

Ino ¦¦ Sakura

I ¦¦

¦¦

¦¦

¦¦

¦¦

¦¦

¦¦

* * *

Upon hearing the inhuman screams of her best friend, who no doubt had realized what had happened. Ino began laughing her ass off, it was an extremely good thing there were no customers in the shop at that moment, and then again they were probably laughing at Sakura right now. With the blonde kunoichi grinning maliciously, she cackled evilly and looked at the photos on her digital camera of which she took pictures of Sakura at about 02:00 am this morning after they both went on the piss… or at least one of them was.

"You should have learned after what I did to Shikamaru, Sakura. Never trust a Yamanaka who's trying to get you drunk." And with that she hummed a happy tune sat down and slammed her feet up onto the cashier table, enjoying her handiwork and examining all of the other pictures she had rammed into her camera.

**(A/N: Finished. That took about a half hour to not only type up, but to think up as well. Some people say to me that I work well with total improvisations; I don't know to be honest! But to hell with it, please tell me what you think, should I carry this on or keep it as a one-shot? Also I'd like to mention that Ino just seems like one of those girls who just takes tonnes of pictures all the time! Yanno, like has a digital camera and takes pictures of every little thing in front of her. And also there is no way I can fix the slight error on the table above, I pent about 15 minuets coming up with ideas and nothing works, sorry! Anyway, thank you for reading!)**

**The Jar Head**


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